After our World Cup crazed news reporters discovered a community of England residents who support another team, we have heard rumours of an even smaller group of people who do not support anyone. It appears, in fact, that they do ‘not care about football, especially not the World Cup’.
Our reporters have tried infiltrating this loose, non-organised group, but have so far not been able to find any significant representative, even though they have searched in pubs, bars, clubs, city squares, town squares, cinemas, gyms, student unions, or any other place that might have a screen (in case they miss a crucial mis-call on the referees behalf, you understand). So we’re not entirely sure who we’re quoting above.
We asked members of the public to comment on the discovery, and were met, understandably, with disbelief. ‘So what do they do every Sunday’, asks Sarah McFooty, ‘and every four years, over summer?’. Andy O’Soccer expressed concern that this group might pose a threat ‘to the sanctity of our nation and our boys. Our boys are out there on the field fighting for democracy, after all’.
Experts claim that the phenomenon can be relatively widespread, but ultimately harmless – until those affected sigh, mumble, mutter or express boredom in any way. Strong reactions may increase in case of trying to justify their stance by referring to social or ethical concerns, or some other poor excuse.
More on this as it develo– OH COME ON, THAT WAS BLATANTLY A FOUL.